Losing and Gaining
by Maristela Freesia
Summary: It was really ironic that she only got one by losing the other. Post-Mockingjay, spoilers.


**A/N: Well, this is just a little post-Mockingjay story. More details at the end. Enjoy!**

When she first hears the words,

about what happened,

what happened to him,

and the soldier stares down,

and his face is grave,

she **smiles.**

{he's joking and it's so sick it's a sick joke she knows it is because there's no way it's real no way}

When he shakes his head,

telling her that its not a joke,

and that he's serious,

and that this is real, it's really real,

and it really happened to him,

she **frowns.**

{it's a joke he promised her he swore that he'd come back he promised he promised it's not real}

When he tries to explain,

explain that it's true,

that it's not just a joke,

and will she listen to reason, please,

because he wants her to not hurt too badly,

she can't listen to it, she won't,

so she **argues.**

{he swore please don't let it be true please please please it's not true it's not i won't let it be true}

When she finally figures it out,

that he's telling the truth,

that it's not just some really sick joke,

that it's all real,

it's all very, very real,

she **screams.**

{oh you promised please come back please come back please come back please please please}

She runs away from him,

from the man with the grave face,

the man with the true lies,

she buries her face in a pillow,

a soft, sweet pillow that knows the truth,

and she **whispers** to it.

{no you swore oh it hurts so much so please come back please please please it's just a joke right}

And when the pillow doesn't answer,

because it just can't answer,

or because it won't break her heart,

and she knows it's the second one,

and she realizes that it's true,

that the horrible grave-faced man is right,

she **sobs.**

{why did it happen to him why him why not somebody else why why why why how could it happen}

He swore that he wouldn't leave her,

he swore that he'd come back,

he swore that she'd see his face again,

he swore that he would be there,

he swore all this and everything,

and he **lied.**

{i hate you for lying i hate you for it so much i can't stand you oh why why why would you do that}

But she knows he couldn't help it,

because who could help it,

and she hates him for not trying,

and hates herself for hating him,

and it's all just too much,

so she buries her face in deeper

and **screams.**

{oh no please don't let it be real of course it's real but you lied and i hate this come back please}

And then she can almost hear him,

hear him telling her to be strong,

that he hates seeing her crying,

that he wants her to be happy without him,

and she wants to listen to him,

so she **laughs.**

{i'm laughing are you happy i hope you are because i'll be happy for you you know i will i promise}

When she feels that little bump weeks later,

while she's clutching her gut and throwing up,

she figures out that he didn't leave her,

that he's still there, inside her,

and when she's done puking,

she thinks of him,

and she **smiles.**

{i knew it you're still with me you're still here thank you for not leaving thank you so so so much}

So when the baby finally comes out,

after blood, sweat, and tears,

after it finally comes out of her body,

Annie Odair looks down on her son-

no, her and Finnick's son-

and she smiles, and holds him up to her face,

and she **speaks.**

{hello there i'm your mommy annie and your daddy he isn't here i'm sorry but he just can't be here}

{but i want you to know that he loves you very much he really really does i know it all right **finnick**}

And every day of seeing him is beauty,

and every time he asks about his daddy,

the daddy that he's named after,

the daddy that she simply won't tell him about,

every time is so painful,

so she **hurts.**

{finnick i want to tell him so so badly but i can't hurt him i think that it would hurt what should i do}

But when she finally tells him it's beautiful,

and he's proud to be Finnick Odair the Second,

and she's left thinking one thing to herself,

and it makes her happy,

and she **smiles.**

{finnick and finnick the two people i love the most it's so ironic i only got one by losing the other}

**A/N2: Well! Annie/Finnick stuff. I normally don't write like this, for the record. I just really wanted to try something different. It was a lot of fun. You should try it, if you're reading this. Be you who you may. Anyways. Finnick/Annie is one of my favorite couples. This was tons of fun to make. Review, please! Love from Mari!**


End file.
